I had not to betray

I have looked up

But I havent I havent

I try to but I cant

Yet I have seen.

 

My dreams lose to my hopes

My hopes, to my desires

My desires-

Burn in their own stomac

Thus lose to hunger

That never gives way to growth.

For all that is eaten

Is digested, all that

Is digested is nourishment

And nourishment is eaten.

 

But all these words

Are but to fool

To trick me away

So I wont need to look-

When I know

I have loved to betray

I have begged just to throw away.

When I know

I am about to sin

Silent sin- that will not bring regrets

But a blunt hopelessness

Knowing I shall betray

And to betray-I cannot escape,

I willnot escape,

I wantnot escape

I just want

I had not to betray,

In a happy mind

I had not to betray

 

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