To make maths out of sporadic feels

Egg face with tintin hair
And everybody laughed
The cute kid

If fate permits
The kid shall grow
Once,old, no longer cute
Shall the egg face be

What shall be the value, then,
Of those old laughters?

What shall be the value of
Momentary happiness that has passed

Its reason its effect , reverberation –
Maybe just turning to a fading halo
To measure the lost jasmine glitters of
The TimeLife’s unending waves.

To make maths out of sporadic feels.

Petty headaches

All my headaches
Are so petty

Entire characters develop
My cranium the amphitheater

All want to rule the brain
I give them windows to grow out

Grow out to the empire to create
Outside in the canvas to create

The monster is in the hidden genes of past
Sea and muscle mountain

A pipe of neck
The sphere of face hidden in oblivious trees

Hidden with hunger
But the dream must go on

Petty headaches I am petty brained
Yet seed of life as viral roots

Death for one for other to live
I am petty

My headaches just foot prints
Before armageddon

Or, Before heavenly eternity
Or maybe just random universal gliding

In breakdown I view as an observer
Beyond maze, the maze of stars

The heart of time and brain of universe opens before me
I reflect, headaches dont pain, pain tracendent

Word

I know a few words
I can not write everything

Too much written
Too much said

Should words try to reach
Every feeling every sense

Sensation that surpass us
Words in awe of words disappear

Yet there is always a ‘but’
At times we hope beyond the ‘but’

In doubt of speaking void
Words are born or ideas lost

Too much said, too much written
Yet how to say enough

To not say till satiety coma, yet,
To say complete till Pleasure flows through veins

Words are born with
New dimentions of perception

We might not be enough
We might die

Either-Immortality
Genes-biological, words-ofBrain

Or-transcendence
Life of a Moment-felt fulfilled

Words till everything and beyond
And humans-HUMans-HUMANS enough to word the words

I know a few words
Maybe I can write something

Alone

I understand to go on
When I know
I can love
When I feel
I can hate
When I can hope
There is somebody
There will always be
Somebody
With death extinction life and immortality

But how
How to go on
When I am an island
Even the seas around me
Are no-body
There is no-one
And Island a point
An universe of zero dimentions
How to go on
Alone

My worth

What use are words if they don’t matter
No matter what I turn to
I shall never matter to eternity
I shall never matter to the
Life and death of Love
To the
Life and death of knowledge
To the
Life and death
Of humanity.
Why should I ever use words again
But for the release that
A madman feels
When he beats his chest
In helpless insanity.

Its not my crime, its me

I committed a crime
For which I was not punished.

I have loved
Rejected love
And got rejected
Many times
Both cases I tried my best
I moved on.

But how do I move on
From a crime.

I hate it true
But mostly I am afraid
Afraid for the moments
When I enjoyed it.
I fear the moments
When I think of it
And do not squirm
Excited with hot blood
I dream of more pervert ways
The crime could have gone.

The victim atleast says, have forgiven me
But how do I forget when I get to sleep,criminal criminal criminal.

My conscience
There is no longer any such word
I can not respect me enough
To have a ‘conscience’
Or a proud sleep.
I am a monster who stares at me
I haven’t satisfied him with my remorse
Nor with my fear
Nor with my strength.

Abandoned
I dont want to be abandoned by me.

When I was younger
My mother used to tell
You cannot lie to the earth
For she has mothered you
Nor to the air
For it is your partner
Nor to the sky
For it is beyond
Only to time you can lie
For it is yourself.

I have lied to all but time
I could not lie to myself.

I have loved again
Rejected love
And been rejected, many times
After I crimed,
But I could never live those loves
For I knew
Each love in me a monster hides
And the monster loose would crime again
I might crime again
Thus each love I loved
Was lost in time, broken time, sleepless time.

I love now and lose my love in myself
I have crimed
Mother, partner, beyond can help me-
No more.

I still live my life
I still laugh, joke, enjoy
I still look at mirror
And can look for long
I still hope, still hope.

Only when
When love looks at me
And says nothing
I have no redemption
No escape.
As a child born
As a criminal I shall fall for death
My last love
As I leave my love for life behind
But she will know, she already knows

A criminal has to fall for death
As he lusts for life.